The Romance of Similar Names
by Anne Noni Mouse
Summary: Oh come on, we all know Robin and Raven belong together! RobRae parody.


_Notes and disclaimers: I do not own Teen Titans. Used without permission. I don't even know who has the legal rights to these characters or the tower, or anything else I am using; but rest assured I do not (own the legal rights). I have not read much Robin/Raven fanfiction, so I am not making fun of any particular author or fic. But this was my impression of the pairing _

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One day Raven was sitting on her bed, contemplating how much she "dug" Beast Boy. In fact, she was thinking about it so hard that she was blowing up or defacing random objects in her room. This was a problem, so Raven tried to stop thinking about him; but she found that she could not. Which was also a problem.

Meanwhile, in Robin's room, Starfire was pestering Robin to do something with her. Robin didn't feel like doing anything at all, and he tried to get Starfire to go away. Starfire refused to leave him alone, and Robin's frustration boiled.

"JUST STOP EXISTING, PLEASE!" Robin blew up at Star. He pulled a gadget out of his belt and shot it at Starfire. The gadget spun around Starfire, releasing a rope and tying her up. Starfire fell to the floor, and for good measure, Robin hit her in the head with a ukulele.

The Robin did not want to step over Starfire to get to his door, so he jumped out the window.

Outside, Robin ran into Raven, who thought maybe some fresh air who get her mind off BB. "Why'd you jump out the window?" Raven asked him.

"To escape Starfire."

"Oh."

"We belong together," Robin announced.

"Who?" Raven asked.

"You and me. We belong together."

"Why?"

"Because it's poetic."

"Ooooh, yeah," Raven agreed. "We both have bird names."

"Yeah!" Robin agreed. "And both start with the letter 'R.'"

"Yeah! And both are five letters long!"

"Yeah! And the letter order of both our names is consonant-vowel-consonant-vowel-consonant!"

"Yeah! And both our names are girly!"

"Yeah! -Wait. . ." Robin stopped, offended.

"You're right," Raven agreed. "'Raven' is unisex."

Robin blinked at her. He forgot why he was offended. "Um. . ."

"Are both our names end in the letter 'N,'" Raven continued.

"Yeah! Our names are very similar," Robin concluded.

"Yes, us being together is therefore very poetic," Raven said.

So it was decided; Robin and Raven began dating.

"What do you want to do for our first date?" Robin asked.

"I feel like reading," Raven replied.

"And I feel like researching villains," Robin said.

So the two of them went inside plopped on the couch, Raven with a book and Robin with the laptop. They sat there for three hours, not saying a word.

Just then Starfire fell through the ceiling.

Robin glared at her. "What are you doing here? And why did you fall through the ceiling?"

Starfire replied, "I have destroyed your floor with my green-glowy-eye powers. I have also destroyed your Confining Rope."

"Drat," responded Robin.

"Star, you're kinda crashing our date," Raven said.

"You're dating?" Starfire asked, devastated, "this is a very negative event for me!"

Then Starfire Righteous-Fury'd Robin and ran off.

"Ow," complained Robin, lying motionless on the ground.

"I'll heal you," declared Raven; and she did.

"Wow, you can heal me after my crazy ex-girlfriend beats me up," Robin commented.

"We are so freaking compatible," Raven agreed.

"You don't bug me to do stuff like Starfire did," Robin said.

"I don't like to do stuff."

"I don't either."

"And I have absolutely no feelings for you, so being around you doesn't have a negative effect on my powers," Raven said.

"Yes," Robin replied. "We must forget all the chemistry we know. About opposites attracting, and similar things repelling. Because chemistry is irrelevant in real life."

"So we have no chemistry between us?" Raven asked.

"No, we don't. But who needs it when their names are so similar?"

"Good point," Raven agreed.

And the two of them were together forever, and neither of them ever left the tower again except to save the city. They never actually did anything together; but they _were_ together. And neither of them were happy, but they weren't unhappy. So the lived a not-unhappily ever after, which was their default way of living anyway.

The moral of this story is, similar names are poetic. And more important than being happy or not wasting away. Long live Robin and Raven!


End file.
